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Alternatives to Punishment
1. Point out a way to be helpful.
2. Express strong disapproval without attacking character.
3. State your expectations.
4. Show the child how to make amends.
5. Give the child a choice.
6. Allow the child to experience the consequences of his or her own behavior.
7. Sympathize with the child. Be compassionate, but stick to your decision.
8. Give an early warning.
9. Give specific instructions. Tell the child what to clean up rather than just to
clean up.
10. Ask if you can help.
11. Ignore some annoying behavior. Behavioral science has found that whatever
is noticed in any way is reinforced.
12. Do nothing.
13. Tackle one problem at a time.
14. Identify who owns the problem.
15. Maintain a sense of humor.
16. Give yourself time to grow and change.
17. Be affectionate.
18. Make sure your child gets enough sleep.
19. Use the golden rule.
20. Convey respect.
21. Overlook differences that don't really matter.
22. Don't do for your children what they can do for themselves.
23. Schedule family recreation.
24. Don't reward inappropriate behavior.
25. Stop and think before you act.
26. Don't make a big fuss over spills and accidents.
27. Acknowledge positive behavior.
28. Use encouragement or honest praise rather than blanket praise.
29. Sometimes just listen and be sympathetic. You can be sympathetic to both
sides.
30. Say yes as much as possible.
31. Be willing to change your mind.
32. Give yourself enough support and inspiration as a parent to remember there
are alternatives to punishment and spanking.
33. Continue to think of your child as an equal, then figure out how to deal with
a conflict.
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